My husband, Dario, was raised in a household where Italian was the primary language which instilled a profound sense of connection to his heritage. Despite the renowned cultural diversity of our hometown of Columbia, Maryland, things were not always easy for him. Navigating between his Italian roots and the cultural norms of his peers created occasional challenges. Dario sometimes felt out of place or embarrassed, requiring finesse and adaptability to balance his Italian roots with American cultural norms.
Meanwhile, his parents grappled with the delicate balance of assimilating into American culture while preserving their Italian heritage for their children. Dario's father, a Physics Professor, and his mother, a homemaker, faced unique hurdles. With his mother primarily learning English by watching TV, you can only imagine the isolation she experienced in her quest to bridge the linguistic and cultural gap.
DAIR-ee-oh
Even Dario's name sparked some discord during his upbringing. While it was pronounced as "DAH-ree-oh" in Italian and at home, his friends growing up pronounced his name as "DAIR-ee-oh," a variation he didn't correct, not wanting to draw attention. As a result, most people continue to pronounce it that way. Nonetheless, despite these occasional struggles, this experience laid the groundwork for a deeper appreciation and understanding of his heritage later in life, especially as we began raising our own family.
When we became parents, Dario's longing to share his love for Italy with our boys reignited his connection to his Italian roots. This desire to pass down his cultural heritage became a driving force in strengthening his bond with Italy, serving as a reminder of his early upbringing and the importance of preserving his family's traditions for generations to come. All of Dario's extended family live in Italy and it was important for us to remain connected to aunts, uncles, and cousins there.
Dual Citizenship Opens Doors
In 2017, we began working with consultants at Italian Citizenship Assistance to navigate the complicated dual citizenship process. It took over a year, but Dario and the boys had their EU passports in hand! Having consultants to work through the process and associated bureaucracy was crucial.
Unfortunately, it will take longer for me to get my Italian passport as citizenship through marriage requires that I am conversationally fluent in Italian, certified by exam. This new requirement actually went into effect in 2022, just as I was preparing my application!
"Capisco, ma sto ancora imparando l'italiano."
Translation: "I understand, but I am still learning Italian"
As high school sweethearts growing up around Dario's family, I understand a lot of Italian, except for the Neapolitan dialect (we’ve had many dinners with family in Napoli and I just can’t keep up!) I've started taking language classes and working a plan to reach the required B1 level. I have achieved caveman level -- I can generally get my point across, but it’s neither grammatically correct nor eloquently expressed. However, I'm determined to conquer this linguistic challenge, one conjugation at a time.
Unlocking Opportunities
Gaining dual citizenship opened many doors for our family. Not only could we travel freely, but buying property would be easier and our kids could study in Europe for much less than the insanely high in-state tuition in the US. EU passport holders can study anywhere in the EU at local tuition rates! In 2020, our oldest son, Jackson, was in his final year of his undergrad and considering pursuing his Masters in Engineering abroad. We were floored to discover that it would only cost approximately 3k€ a year compared to $30k+ at Virginia Tech where he was getting his undergrad degree! That was a no-brainer! He was accepted into several schools in Europe, including a few in Italy, but decided on TU Delft in the Netherlands. With Jackson living in Europe, we had yet another reason to want a home base in Europe.
Bingeing and Dreaming
During the pandemic lockdown, Dario and I binged lots of travel shows, both on TV and YouTube. We were forced to postpone two Italy trips during this time and watching these shows and dreaming of the time when we would be off to Italy again helped to pass the time and softened the blow of our missed adventures and pent-up wanderlust. The shows made the process seem fairly easy. And, if it was similar to the process in the US, we would just work with a realtor to see properties and make an offer. Easy peasy.
We started casually searching online as part of a long-term dream to retire to Italy for at least part of the year. Dario reached out to a couple of listing realtors for apartments in a variety of regions. Crickets. We tried again with a different property with the same result. We quickly learned that the process of buying in Italy is anything but straightforward. Unlike the US, in Italy, they do not have buyers' and sellers' agents. There is no Multiple Listing Service (MLS) and the same property can be listed by numerous realtors, none of whom seem too pressed to actually sell a property.
We let it go for a bit and then…
We learned that our citizenship consultants had a division dedicated to helping foreigners buy property in Italy, Italian Real Estate Lawyers. They had been so helpful with the citizenship process that we decided to learn more. We met over video call with two consultants and it sounded interesting, but still felt far out of reach.
Fast forward to an entire year later and we decided to meet with them again. The ball was rolling now and before we knew it we decided to start narrowing down the area we wanted to consider and were scheduling our house hunting trip. Our low-resolution plan was starting to come into focus. It might actually happen!
Stay tuned for Part III of our story.
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